Oh gosh some losses are so big that it takes years to find the words. And sometimes words feel so inadequate, they’re hardly worth saying. But I knew a little girl who was so courageous, that she inspires me everyday to move into what feels hard.
Maren was the daughter of a dear friend and neighbor of mine. She was so spunky and frankly bossy that I felt especially privileged that she actually seemed to like me - that was a huge honor. She died at the age of 7 after a grueling year battling leukemia.
Watching her suffer, and her passing brought so much pain to so many. Her parents and siblings, her extended family, and to everyone who knew and loved her. It can consume your spirit, watching a child suffer.
There is a Maren-shaped hole in my soul that will never heal. Well, it might if she decides to deign me with her presence when I cross over at the end of this life, but you never know with her - she was pretty picky about who got her attention.
I’ve tried to write about her a million times and I just can’t find the words. But there is something that I learned that I have to try to share. That is this: bad things happen, even to good people. People can be doing their best, being awesome, loving, evolving beings, and still have to deal with the worst the human experience has to offer.
There is a strain of ‘self help’ energy work that suggests that if you are doing your work, your life will reflect this effort, and that all your dreams will come true. Well, I am here to tell you that is a point of view that judges every person who suffers, and completely lacks compassion. I can promise you this: Maren did nothing wrong, lacked nothing, and neither did her family. Bad things happen to good people, and there is no reason for it other than that is what happens on this planet sometimes.
Generations of enslaved people in this country suffered under the hands of sadistic enslavers. Those enslaved were lacking nothing in their moral code, in fact they were probably the strongest bravest people ever to walk this earth. And yet, they suffered for generations.
The Native Americans suffered brutally, and still are not granted basic services and rights. Would self- help ideas suggest that if they just did better at letting go of their fears or clearing their energy, or practicing mindfulness, they would have the life they visualize?
Sometimes, we give ourselves credit for gifts that we should instead be humbly grateful for. And when we suggest that we each ‘create our own reality’ we need to remember that attitude lacks compassion for the suffering of so many. In my work as an energy healer, I know we can impact our experience. That is clear. But if we do so without humility and compassion, it is all for nothing.
So, dear readers, keep up the good work. Keep working through what this life has served you. Don’t give yourself too much credit for the good things, and don’t beat yourself up when things go wrong. We are all here doing our best, and navigating the unfair, unpredictable waters of human life. And if you can, see someone who has suffered a terrible tragedy as a brave soul, not someone who wasn’t doing ‘it’ right.
